Not Again
by ChubbyPony
Summary: It couldn't be happening. Not again. She didn't deserve this. Not again. He was supposed to protect her and he'd let her get hurt again.
1. Not Again

**AN: **Ok, so this story is set during summer, a year after Sam has returned to River Bend. I haven't finished reading Blue Wings yet, so I won't be making any references towards it in this story. I'm horrible at remembering facts too, so if I mess something up, just ignore it. Read away. Also, I can't for the life of me remember when cows are like, supposed to have their babies, but I think it's near the end of summer, right? Well, for the sake of this story, let's pretend it is, ok? (I'm pretty sure that's how it was in the first book….)

* * *

Ace's ears flicked back towards Sam and he shook his head, snorting in what Sam could only assume was displeasure.

"I don't want to be here any more than you do, boy." Sam assured him in a low whisper, patting his neck and running her fingers absently through a few strands of his course mane. A few feet ahead of them, Rachel Slocum was ranting on about some girl…..who stole the last Red Passion lipstick they had at the mall? Or at least, that's what Sam thought she was saying, but she wasn't paying a whole lot of attention as she trained her eyes to the horizon, searching for any lonely calves, since that's what they were supposed to be doing.

A storm had blown through early yesterday morning and lasted well into the night and they were worried that some of the calves might have gotten separated from their mothers. Jed and Linc had ridden over to River Bend this morning, without Jen unfortunately, who was stuck in town with her mother after they had gone school shopping and gotten stuck in town when the roads flooded out. Splitting into pairs, the large group had headed out in several different directions. No one was quite sure why Rachel had decided to tag along, but one thing everyone knew was that they would not ride out with her. In the end, because she was a girl and close to Rachel's own age, Sam had been forced to ride out with the little princess. Rachel seemed to have wound down now and Sam tuned her out, intent on finding any little calves that might be missing their mama's.

They'd be riding for near an hour when they came upon a thin slice of trail that headed up the side of a steep shale cliff. Sam gulped at the height and was about to suggest they head back to the bottom, when Ace stopped dead at Rachel's loud shriek. A gust of wind had picked up and was blowing a cloud of dust towards them. Rachel sputtered and waved her hands about wildly.

"Rachel-" Sam started to tell her to stop waving like that or she would spook the horses, when Ace snorted in wide-eyed terror and reared up. Acting on pure instinct, Sam slammed her weight forward onto his neck, desperately trying to push him back to earth. For a moment, she thought it was working and they would be ok, but the wind had picked up again and Rachel's bright pink sequined cowboy hat blew off her head and fluttered right underneath Ace's nose.

On two legs, Ace tried to run backwards away from the flying object and Sam gasped as he stumbled and fought to catch his footing on the slick shale mountain side.

With a scream, Ace lurched sideways and began to slide backwards down the side of the cliff. Running on pure adrenaline now, Sam kicked both her feet free of the stirrups and tried to propel herself away from her falling horse, but he crashed to the earth, pinning her left leg beneath him as he continued to flail his legs, fighting to get his feet underneath him, but to no avail. Together, Sam and Ace slide down the muddy hillside. Faintly, Sam thought she heard more terrified shrieks coming from atop the hill, but she was focused on the slick, sweaty animal hide pinning her to the ground as they continued their head long rush to the bottom of the hill. Briefly, she thought maybe they would be ok, they would just slide to the bottom and get up and everything would be fine.

She had underestimated the height of the hill though, because just as she thought they should be reaching the bottom, they kept on sliding. Ace was still breathing heavily and screaming in equine terror as he kept fighting with everything in him. Sam had only a moment to be proud of her valiant little mustang when suddenly the hill became violently steeper and the pressure on her leg was released for no more than a moment as Ace's flailing legs flipped up and over his belly and he rolled right over Sam to land on his right side and keep sliding. Sam saw his bay coat coming closer and smelled the scent on his slick sweaty neck, before it crashed down on her and horse hair filled her mouth and nose and the world went black.

* * *

"What in the-" Brynna began, looking away from where Dallas was pointing to stare in the direction where sudden yells were coming from.

"SAM!" she screamed suddenly, watching in horror as a familiar bay mustang reared up and toppled off the trail and slid down the edge of the muddy hill. Without even realizing it, she whipped Penny's copper head around and kicked her into a fierce gallop, barely breathing as she watched Sam and Ace continue to slide down the hill. For a minute, it looked like they might just slide to the bottom and stop, but then she gasped in terror as Ace's scream rang out and he flipped right over, crushing Sam underneath him. She heard hooves thundering behind her and registered that Dallas must have been galloping after her.

By the time they reached the bottom of the hill, Ace had lurched to his feet and was hobbling around with his head flung in the air, eyes so wide the whites showed, the reins wrapped tightly around his neck and leg, which was sticking out at an odd angle below the knee.

Pale and motionless, Sam lay in a mangled heap below Ace's tottering feet. Brynna had flung herself from the saddle before Penny had even come to a complete stop and was kneeling over Sam, tears streaming down her face as she watched Sam's chest intently, praying it would rise. Shallowly, it did and Brynna breathed a small sigh of relief. Behind her, Dallas had grabbed hold of Ace's bridle and was trying to calm the mustang, whose anguished screams burned Brynna's ears.

"Brynna. Brynna. BRYNNA!" Dallas had to shout to tear her attention away from Sam's body, which had not moved.

"You need to ride and get help. Now." He demanded.

"What? I can't just leave Sam, I mean-" Brynna stopped herself, realizing how stupid she sounded. There was no way they could move Sam and the longer she delayed, the more precious seconds slipped away. She stumbled to her feet and heaved herself back into Penny's saddle, wheeling the mare away from the group and heading for River Bend at a dead gallop, praying to God she would get there in time.

* * *

"Where could they be?" Wyatt grumbled. Jake and Pepper, Jed and Linc and Ross and himself had arrived back at the ranch, but Dallas and Brynna and Sam and Rachel were still no where to be seen. Jen and her mother had made it back in from town and were in the kitchen helping Gram prepare sandwiches for the tired riders. His ears met the sound of thundering hooves suddenly and he turned to see Brynna heading right for them, alone. She jerked Penny to a stop and slid clumsily from the saddle in a haze of dust kicked up from Penny's heels.

"What in lands name is going on out here?" Gram came out of the house with Jen and her mother just as Brynna began trying to sob out brokenly what had happened.

"B. Calm down. What's going on?" At her next words, Wyatt's body dropped at least ten degrees and he shivered in a cold fear.

"Sam….Ace…They fell and- Sam she- call an ambulance." Brynna finally managed to choke out.

"Oh my god." Gram clutched at the door frame and Jen gasped and threw a hand up to cover her mouth as Pepper fought his way into the house to grab the phone.

* * *

It couldn't be happening again. Not again. Knuckles white he was gripping the steering wheel so tight, Jake sped his way down the road after the ambulance. It couldn't be happening all over again. He couldn't handle this again. He was supposed to protect her and now…. She didn't deserve this again. It wasn't fair. His rage flared up again as he remembered Rachel riding slowly into the yard, clutching her hat and sobbing into her father's shoulder that it wasn't her fault. Of course it was her fault! She was the one waving her arms like a god damned monster and wearing that stupid flaming hat! And now Sam might be dead because of it. The truck weaved sideways as Jake's hands loosened on the wheel. Oh god. What if Sam was dead? What would he do then? He'd nearly killed her the first time, but thank God she had survived….would she be so lucky again? 


	2. Going Back

note: I am soooo sorry that it has been fooorrrreeevvvveeeeerrr since I updated. I know how long it's been. But...I just couldn't get inspired, but I also couldn't give up the story. Then the last book of the series came out and I haven't even finished it yet but it was like...wow. Everything clicked and I had to come back to this story. So here it is. I hope to god I still have some readers out there somewhere. I swear to god, from now on, this will be updated much much much more frequently. I have a lot of school work, but I should be able to get an least one update a week. Hopefully more. Ha, don't hate me?

* * *

"I hate you!" Sam spat vehemently. "I **_hate_ **you!" Blindly, she reached for the lamp sitting on the bedside table and hurled it. Her father barely flinched as it sailed over his left shoulder and smashed against the wall behind him amid the gasps of Brynna and Gram. Her chest heaved and her eyes darkened in outrage.

"You're going. There's no damn question. You're going tomorrow and that'll be that."

"Fine! Fine. I'll go. I'll go and leave you and Brynna to start your new family!" Sam cried. "That's what you want isn't it? You just want me gone so you can forget Mom and me ever existed and just start over with your new baby!" Somewhere in her mind, Sam knew she was being stupid and irrational and incredibly cruel, but she didn't care. She barely even registered the flash of hurt that crossed her father's face or how deep her words must have cut. He looked at her and met her eyes and they stared at each other for a long moment, unaware of everything but each other. He cocked his head and for a moment, Sam thought her father might reconsider, but when his mouth opened, he spoke but one word.

"Tomorrow."

* * *

Covered in a cold sweat, Sam jerked awake, hopelessly tangled in a mess of blankets and breathing heavily. She'd been having this dream for nearly a month now. She supposed it might be reoccurring now for the simple reason that the two year anniversary of her second upheaval from her home was hastily approaching.

It was hard to believe that she had been back in San Francisco for an entire two years already. She had been surprised at how easily it had been for her to just slip back into her old city life. Of course, at night, when she was alone in her room and there was nothing to distract from the memories, that was when she cried for it. For everything about her ranch. _Her _ranch. She cried for Ace and Jen and Jake and the Phantom. As much as she hated to admit it, she also cried for her father and Brynna and even for the new baby, who would be over a year old by now. She only knew about the baby because her Aunt had let it slip in passing one day. Sam had not contacted anyone from her home in the year she had been gone.

Numerous letters had arrived at the apartment, from Jen, Gram, Brynna, and surprisingly, even a few from Ross and Pepper had shown up. In the first few months, the majority of the letters had been from Jake, but she had not opened a single one. She ignored the phone calls and deleted all the phone messages and cut off everyone who had anything to do with her old life. She was not going to do this again. The last time she had been sent away, she had spent two entire years daydreaming and praying about the day she would be allowed to return. But never again. If they wanted her gone, fine, but she was gone for good.

Swiftly, she untangled herself from her bed sheet prison and slipped into a robe and some slippers. She tiptoed out her bedroom door and down the hall to the kitchen, where she set about making herself a cup of coffee. Glancing at the clock on the wall above the microwave, she noted the time, realizing suddenly that in a little over two hours, she was going to be greeted with a surprise from Aunt Sue.

Normally, Sam liked surprises. This one however, she had a nasty feeling about. Aunt Sue was usually very joking about secrets and she enjoyed slipping little hints to Sam. This time however, Aunt Sue had been unusually serious, refusing to tell Sam anything other than 'you'll find out soon enough.' It irked Sam to no end and she pondered the possibilities while she waited for her coffee to brew.

She was quite sure it was no coincidence that this surprise was coming right at the time when the anniversary of her unpleasant accident was approaching. That fact made her restless and a little angry. Her theory was that this 'surprise' was going to be someway for her family to be attempting to contact her and she didn't like that fact one bit. It also irked her that her family seemed to be trying to fit her life into some sort of pattern. Two years at the ranch, two years in San Francisco, two years at the ranch… Okay, so she knew it was completely ludicrous to come up with that kind of theory, but it still felt real.

The coffee pot was filled to the brim with the dark liquid and Sam poured herself a cup, spooning in ample amounts of sugar and milk.

She wrapped her hands around the mug and sipped at it as she made her way back to her bedroom, passing her half-awake Aunt in the hallway, who barely nodded in acknowledgement. Sam slipped back into her room and turned the knob on her CD player, letting the loud music wash into the room and chase away the silence, deciding she wasn't going to spend any more time worrying about this surprise.

* * *

"Aunt Suuuuueeeeee," Sam whined, turning her head to glare at her Aunt, "Why are we here?" Here was one of the riding stables in San Francisco that her Aunt had taken her to the first time she had come from the ranch. She hadn't been back in almost five years.

"Um…surprise?" Her Aunt shrugged meekly.

"I'm not going in there." Sam shook her head and crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Samantha Ann." Her Aunt said firmly, "You are 16 years old. Not a child. So stop acting like one and _get out of the car."_ Sam knew better than to argue when her Aunt spoke in that tone and she huffed in protest one last time, and then unclipped her seatbelt.

Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, Sam stomped after her Aunt, keeping her arms crossed and grinding her teeth.

"Right up here Sam." Her Aunt called down to her as Sam entered the dark barn and blinked rapidly, trying to adjust her eyes to the darkness. After a minute, she managed to make out the ramp her Aunt must have disappeared up. Hastily, she clambered up after her Aunt. What she saw at the top had her stopping dead in her tracks.

"I…what…I don't….why is he here?" Sam managed to sputter eventually. Her Aunt Sue gave no answer from where she stood, next to a large box stall containing a spunky bay mustang who answered to Ace.

"Why is he here?" she repeated, turning away from the horse and ignoring his plaintive knickers for attention. Her Aunt Sue started to speak four different times before she finally came up with what she must have deemed a satisfactory answer.

"Your Dad thought that you might be missing Ace." Her Aunt answered deliberately, seeming to choose her words very carefully.

"Well, I'm not. I don't miss Ace. I don't miss him and I don't want him here. Send him back." She didn't wait for a response, couldn't bear to stand there any longer and listen to Ace's neighs for attention and watch the way he pressed his chest against the stall door eagerly. Spinning on her heels, she practically slid down the ramp, tears blurring her vision. She was all the way to the car before she realized she was a long way to the apartment and Aunt Sue had the car keys.

She swiped the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand and leaned against the car, waiting.

"I don't want to talk about it. Just take me home." She cut her Aunt off before she could say another word and stalked to the other side of the car, flopping into the passenger seat. They had only been driving for five minutes when the awkward silence was broken.

"Okay Sam look, I know you're hurting. I know that this must be hard for you, but-"

"No. No, there are no buts. Just get him out of here." Sam stared resolutely out of the car window.

"Unfortunately sweetie, there is a but. Your father…he's got it all arranged with the stable. He's told them no one is to take Ace out of the stable. No one but you."

"What do you mean?"

"Sam, he's told the stable that if anyone wants to take Ace out of there and return him home, it's got to be you." That was about when everything clicked into place in Sam's mind.

"Unbelievable." She shook her head and snorted in disgust. "He's done this on purpose. He knows I don't want Ace here. He wants to see me and so he's made it so I have to go home if I want to get Ace out of here."

"Well…you could just leave Ace here. I _know_ you don't want anything to do with him." Aunt Sue held up one hand to ward off Sam's protests. "But I'm sure there's someone at that barn who would love to have a horse like Ace to ride. You could lease him out. Then if you ever changed your mind-"

"I won't change my mind." Sam interrupted. "And I can't leave Ace here. He's a mustang, Aunt Sue. He may be a captive mustang, but he doesn't belong here. He's not cut out to be a city horse. He needs to be able to run and see the sky and smell the-" She cut herself off before she could reminisce too much. "He just can't stay here."

"Then I'm sorry honey, but you're going to have to drive him back yourself." Her Aunt Sue reached over with one hand and patted her thigh sympathetically. Sighing, Sam leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, rubbing her temples.

"Alright fine. If that's what _he_ wants, then fine. I'll drive Ace home. But it doesn't mean I have to stay there. I'll drive him there, drop him off and leave. Simple as that. I don't have to talk to anyone. If I timed it right, I might not even have to see anyone."

"Sam…" Her Aunt trailed off, her tone warning.

"Alright alright. I get it. Don't be so mean. But I'm still not staying there."

* * *

Three days later, Sam sat at a red light in the front seat of her rented pick-up truck, watching Ace shift around in the rented horse trailer that she was tugging behind her.

"Just hang in there buddy." She whispered to herself in the lonely, empty truck cab. "You'll be home soon." Which was just the problem, Sam thought. She'd be home soon too because no matter how hard she tried to deny it, the ranch was her home too and that was never going to change. She'd managed to quell the urge to go back for the past two years. Now she was being forced to return and she was scared that once she did, she wouldn't be able to leave again, no matter how angry she was.


End file.
